“I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.”
Dorothy Parker
“Tell him I was too fucking busy-- or vice versa.”
Dorothy Parker
“You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.”
Dorothy Parker
“Brevity is the soul of lingerie.”
Dorothy Parker
“Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.”
Dorothy Parker
“If wild my breast and sore my pride,
I bask in dreams of suicide,
If cool my heart and high my head
I think 'How lucky are the dead.”
Dorothy Parker
“If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.”
Dorothy Parker
“Drink and dance and laugh and lie,
Love, the reeling midnight through,
For tomorrow we shall die!
(But, alas, we never do.)”
Dorothy Parker
“I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.”
Dorothy Parker
“A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.”
Dorothy Parker
“There was nothing separate about her days. Like drops on the window-pane, they ran together and trickled away.”
Dorothy Parker
“When I was young and bold and strong,
The right was right, the wrong was wrong.
With plume on high and flag unfurled,
I rode away to right the world.
But now I’m old - and good and bad,
Are woven in a crazy plaid.
I sit and say the world is so,
And wise is s/he who lets it go.”
Dorothy Parker
“She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.”
Dorothy Parker
“I shudder at the thought of men....
I'm due to fall in love again”
Dorothy Parker
“Be you wise and never sad,
You will get your lovely lad.
Never serious be, nor true,
And your wish will come to you--
And if that makes you happy, kid,
You'll be the first it ever did.”
Dorothy Parker
“Mrs. Ewing was a short woman who accepted the obligation borne by so many short women to make up in vivacity what they lack in number of inches from the ground.”
Dorothy Parker
“There's life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.”
Dorothy Parker
“All I have to be thankful for in this world is that I was sitting down when my garter busted.”
Dorothy Parker
“This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.”
Dorothy Parker
“She can sit up and beg, and
she can give her paw —
I don't say she will, but she can.”
Dorothy Parker
