When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.
Bob Hope
When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
Bob Hope
I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
Bob Hope
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
Bob Hope
When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things - not the great occasions - that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.
Bob Hope
The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.
Bob Hope
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
Bob Hope
I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.
Bob Hope
I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.
Bob Hope
I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
Bob Hope
